Tomorrow is the start of the next chapter in my life, as I enrol at college. It’s a big step for me since developing anxiety disorder, but I also think it will be a good thing, I’ve done my year of recovery, and now it’s time to get back up and make something of myself.
Recently I’ve been pushing down more and more barriers when it comes to things such as going out, facing difficult situations and also putting myself outside of my comfort zone. I’ve learnt that anxiety will make you adapt a new lifestyle, limiting you to certain routines and you need that time to ‘retrain’ your brain back to normality. I’ve proven not only to myself but others around me, that things do get better with time as long as you’re willing to fight.
I’ve decided to study Health & Social Care as it’s something I enjoyed in high school, maybe I’ll end up at university eventually, who knows? The course consists of two days in college and two days out doing work experience. This will be a great opportunity to again, get out of my comfort zone but also to meet new people and gain a bigger social circle.
Now I’m not saying I’m not worried about college because I am, extremely anxious to be exact. However, if I don’t do this now while I have the opportunity, then I’ll regret it in the future. The thought of having somewhere I need to be all of the time, no matter how bad I’m feeling, and the idea of what other people may think of me plus panic attacks is, of course, a significant strain and it will be difficult. On the flip side, what’s the worst that can happen?
College is way more understanding with mental health, and I’m in the process of creating a plan so that I can work on my anxiety if things were to go downhill. The fact that I’m prepared gives me so much more ease so I’m determined to start the course, even more, knowing that either way, I’m safe.
So what will this mean for SugarcoatHope?
The answer to that is not to worry. I will figure out my workload and sort out a plan that fits around blog posts and college work. You lovely readers will probably notice no difference, and I’ll still stay active! Blogging to me is somewhere I feel comfortable, stress-free, and it’s a hobby.
If you’re suffering from mental health at the moment and are in the process of recovering, I can tell you from the bottom of my heart that it truly does get better, no matter how bad you’re feeling right now, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Looking back at me last March, I didn’t leave the house for about two months straight due to Agoraphobia. Now? I’ve just been to London; I’m travelling all the time and about to start college. It’s crazy.
If you need support or just a chat, email me at the following: [email protected]
Storms don’t last forever.