Over the past few years, I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs. Without these experiences, I wouldn’t have known what steps to take next in my life. During your teens and twenties, you realise who’s there for you during the hardest times of your life and who you need to let go of. Some friends (and even family), I’ve cut ties with completely and even though it wasn’t easy, I’d rather live a life with people who care about me rather than those who discreetly poison. Here’s how I removed the toxic people from my life.
Overlooking the situation
Sometimes you’ll find yourself in a friendship thinking you’re happy but in reality, you’re treading on eggshells. If you feel as if you can’t be yourself or you’re scared to say or do certain things then it isn’t right. You can’t do everything in your life just to suit one person. Sometimes, that person is just too pessimistic and you just have to let them drown in their own negativity rather than it swallowing you up.
For me, most of the endings of friendships have been down to arguments over jealousy and other petty subjects. I’m not an arguer, I don’t see the point when it doesn’t resolve anything and just escalates them more. Toxic people will pollute everything around them, if they can’t get to you directly, they’ll spread false information to try and get into other people’s minds. I’m learning how to walk away from situations and people who threaten my peace of mind, self-respect and self-worth because if they have the energy to talk about me behind my back then I’m obviously still a big part in their life.
My toxic people
The toxic people who have been in my life have had the same traits. It’s those who spread negativity, those who criticize, waste your time, play the victim, who is self-centred and disappoint you. Unfortunately, you can think that you’re in a really good relationship with someone, but deep down, their true colours haven’t shone yet. The problem with this is you’re already in too deep when you discover. The individuals want power, to control. When they can no longer control you, they try and control how others see you. The false accusations feel awful, tips your world upside down, but it’s vital to stay above it and trust that the other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.
Being in a better place
I have no regrets cutting people out and if they are reading this, then I thank you for the rumours, for the negativity and for the endless fall outs because now I’m in a better place. I’ve learnt that the smaller your circle of friends, the better. It’s not about how many friends you have, it’s about who will be there when you need them the most.